Before I start, it’s important to note my dad rarely uses the phone. He uses at work, but pretty much refuses to use it at home. There have probably only been 20 times in my life when I’ve called the house and he’s answered. Three of those times were because something majorly bad was going on and my mom couldn’t make it to the phone. My dad has initiated a phone call with me about 10 times. Therefore, whenever I get him on the line my first response is, “Is everything okay?”
When I was about 14, my mom and I were sitting on my parents bed watching TV one night, likely Steel Magnolias – a movie we would stop to watch whenever it came on without fail. My dad came into the room, well past his bedtime, and the memory of following exchange always makes me laugh.
Dad: “Well, I just bought a set of Ginsu knives off the TV.”
Dad: “Yeah, I was watching one of those commercials, you know, and I called and bought them.”
Mom: “Jesus Christ, Jack, why did you do that!?”
Dad: “Donna, they cut the bumper off a damn car. The scissors cut a penny in half!”
That set of knives turned out to be a helluva good purchase.