Annual Cleanse

Every year or so I embark on a colon cleanse. So, yes, this post will likely discuss nasty stuff you might otherwise avoid. But, if you hang in there with me, you might be inspired to try this for yourself and reap the benefits.

I’ll preface the rest by saying that I am, by no means, a nutritionist. I know that cleansing is a controversial topic. My goal with this post is to tell you what I’ve done and what’s worked for me. Take it with a grain of salt.

It’s also important to note that I don’t do cleansing as a means to loose weight. Yes, it is a side effect of the cleanse, but it’s not the purpose behind me doing it. The purpose is to clean out built up crap, literally, in my colon. Gross, huh? According to this site, people can have as much as 30 pounds of excess crap just hanging out in their colons. It doesn’t take a genius to know that’s unhealthy and can contribute to a whole host of issues. If you’re like me, you want that outta there!

Back in 2000 I tried the Master Cleanse (also known as the lemonade cleanse). This sucker is grueling.  I’ve only every made it all the way through this cleanse once despite trying an additional 3-4 times. I will admit that after that first time, when I did make it all ten days, I felt great. The person who recommended the cleanse to me explained that I would get in touch with my body and realize what I was lacking. It sounded hoaky to me at the time, but during the cleanse all I craved was big salads. I took that as a hint that I wasn’t eating enough vegetables. Nevertheless, I really think this particular cleanse is over the top and unhealthy.

The past three times I’ve done a colon cleanse has been through a company called Blessed Herbs. They offer both colon cleansing kits and internal cleansing kits. I’ve only used their colon cleanse kit thus far. I’ll give it to you straight – this product works and does what is says it will (just check out the testimonials here, just and fyi that they can be sort of disturbing), but the process ain’t all that fun. Take today, day two of five, for example. I feel tired and a bit run-down and I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve gone to the bathroom. But, I really feel like the benefits outweigh the costs. I know by the end of this, I’ll feel great. I mean, you can’t learn about the benefits of colon cleansing and not see how doing this would be a good thing.

What I really like is that Blessed Herbs offers three ways to do complete the colon cleanse. The first method is to slightly modify your diet, if you chose, and do their program for 30 days. The second method is to greatly modify your diet and do the program for eight days. And the third option, and the one we choose, is to do a liquids only fast for five days while doing their program. I guess I view it this way, if I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it all the way and be done with it and get the most from it. I will admit that I always start this thinking, “Pshah, not eating solids for five days? No problem! Hell, it’ll be a relief. No cooking, no dishes, no grocery shopping.” And then I get into and immediatly want to eat, and not because I’m physically hungry (there are plenty of options to circumvent that on the program), but more that I’m mentally hungry. It is never more apparent how much of our lives revolve around food – preparing it, talking about it, eating it, reading about it, etc., then when you’re not eating.

Anyway, please let me know if you have any questions. I’ll post an update when we (oh, yes, the manfriend is doing this as well. Thanks jeeziz, my five-year-old nephew’s spelling, we have several bathrooms) are done to let you know how it went.

UPDATE: So, the cleanse is all done and I feel great!  It wasn’t a fun process, but it was well worth it.  Both the manfriend and I noticed a few intersting things:
1. During the cleanse we both noted that we were producing less boogers (yum), phlegm, and even eye boogers.
2. By the end of the cleanse, the whites of our eyes were so white.  I’m talking Photoshopped-for-a-makeup-ad white. The effect was lost within 24 hours of eating again. So odd.
3. While we didn’t necessarily have the energy to go for a long hike, we both had plenty of energy to stay up each night well past our bedtime – having to force ourselves to go to sleep even. The day we started eating again, we were both falling asleep on the couch a 8 p.m. And no, we hadn’t binged on a bunch of junk food.

Anyway, it was a successful endeavor. Not always pleasant, but we’re glad we did it and will do it again.

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6 Comments

  1. Kenna

     /  January 15, 2010

    If I see you making a beeline for the restroom at work, I’ll be sure to get outta your way.

    Reply
  2. Thank you for this post. It is timely. Since I finally stopped breastfeeding and have my body to myself again and it’s post holidays it is time for a major cleanse. I have done cleanses in the past, but they were just colon cleanses..which is great and a necessary first step to any cleanse. But I’m looking for an overall highpowered one. It is time. You have always recommended Blessed herbs and I am pretty sure I’m going to give it a try. I’ll let you know how it goes. Good job on educating the masses. Cleanses really are a good idea for a healthy body/mind/spirit!

    Reply
    • Thanks, Jamie! I’ll be really curious to know what you think about the internal cleanse. I would like to do it at some point. Let me know what you think of it!

      Reply
  3. Lisa Staley

     /  January 16, 2010

    I have a lot of blood sugar issues; if I don’t eat every few hours I’m weak, dizzy, headachey…I also turn into a BEAR if I don’t visit the trough regularly. This has always been the obstacle whenever I consider a cleanse. I know, I’m such a baby, but I think you’re TOUGH to take on the liquid diet, I’m impressed!! A silly little riddle for you Annie: “If you’re American in your kitchen, then what are you in your bathroom?….European!!

    Reply

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  • About Me

    My mother is an encyclopedia of useless information (sorry, ma, but it's true) - no one can beat her at Trivial Pursuit. As I age, I become more like dear old mom everyday. I routinely tell people about resources, recipes, tips, tricks, or websites I've heard about, tried, live by, etc. until one of my clients urged me to start a blog. So here it is! My perpetual ramblings. I hope you find them useful and amusing. If you don't, you can either keep it to yourself or leave me a well constructed critique.

    I'm a former massage therapist, a freelance journalist, and a web information architect and UX designer. I enjoy yoga, the Bar Method, camping, reading, gardening, and spending time with my friends and loved ones. I live in Colorado.

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