Where to start…

I guess I’ll start by saying how appreciative I am of all the support and well wishes I’ve received since my car accident. I am truly grateful. And I am truly grateful that my injuries are not worse. No, I was not taken from the scene of the accident in an ambulance. No, I did not break anything, etc. But I’m not okay. People keep saying, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” And I appreciate that and I understand, fundamentally, what their message is. But I’m not okay.

I’m also not sure the extent of what’s going on right now. I’ve got some appointments with a few folks to assess some of my symptoms. Yes, I am being purposefully vague. Sorry about that. I’ll clear things up when I can (i.e. when all the dust from insurance companies has settled or when I have something more concrete to share from the docs). I can say that my upper back, neck (all 360 degrees) and chest are very tight and sore. Thank god I know a great massage therapist who’s knowledgeable, kind, and dedicated. Want a referral? Just let me know!

I guess the whole point of this post is to thank everyone for their kindness and to vent a bit about feeling like a bag of smashed grapes. There’s always a lesson in everything. Perhaps the lesson for me in this one is that it’s okay to say ‘no’. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to take it easy and take care of myself for once. It’s okay to relinquish some control and believe that not having the entire house gleaming when the manfriend’s parents show up tomorrow is not the end of the world. These are hard things for me to do.

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8 Comments

  1. Aimee

     /  September 14, 2010

    I am so sorry you have to go through this, honey.

    Reply
  2. I am proud of you. You are very demanding of yourself. You have never allowed yourself to kick back, relax, take care of Annie. Drives me looney. The proud part? You recognize that taking care of yourself needs to be – has to be – your priority. So be it. Love your guts.

    Reply
    • Thanks, mom. I appreciate you saying that. Some how taking care of myself has always felt selfish. But I also now realize that if I don’t, taking care of others becomes something I can’t do, no matter how much I want to. Must be some sort of martyr BS!

      Reply
  3. No martyr BS. It’s called being your own best friend. Which is something we all need to be sometimes.

    Reply
  4. Well when I started reading I thought, “maybe I can offer something” but as I kept reading, I quickly realized that you have it figured out. So I just have an ‘ear’ (aka: computer) to listen. I also continue sending you some Reiki healing energy for pain and comfort.

    Reply

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