So close and yet…

…no cigar!

The other morning I was making breakfast and suddenly Stella started frantically whining at the back door, so I went over to see what was up. On the screened-in patio sat the fat squirrel.

See, we have this fat squirrel that frequents our yard. He’s either got a metabolic issue or takes the whole “fatten up for winter and hide massive amounts of nuts” thing VERY seriously. Either way, his girth makes him slow and awkward by squirrel standards. I mean, he can still get from tree to tree in a flying leap, but every time he does it I cringe and think, “squirrel pancake today?” while his squirrel buddies wait in the next tree like, “Come on, Chunk! The pirates are getting away!”

Anyhow, there he sat unaware of the terror I was about to unleash. Through the door Stella went and a rousing bout of chase ensued. For a moment I questioned my decision afraid he would turn on her and attack. Instead he tore through the screen (TORE THROUGH IT) and jumped into a tree. Then he commenced a loud barrage of clucking at Stella. I doubt it was of a heckling nature considering she almost had him…

She shot me a look like, “Holy shit! Did you see that? I almost had the little chump. Aw well.” And then went and took a dump.

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  • About Me

    My mother is an encyclopedia of useless information (sorry, ma, but it's true) - no one can beat her at Trivial Pursuit. As I age, I become more like dear old mom everyday. I routinely tell people about resources, recipes, tips, tricks, or websites I've heard about, tried, live by, etc. until one of my clients urged me to start a blog. So here it is! My perpetual ramblings. I hope you find them useful and amusing. If you don't, you can either keep it to yourself or leave me a well constructed critique.

    I'm a former massage therapist, a freelance journalist, and a web information architect and UX designer. I enjoy yoga, the Bar Method, camping, reading, gardening, and spending time with my friends and loved ones. I live in Colorado.

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