A Seussian Bush

Before I continue, I’d like to assure you this isn’t a post about a hack job to my bikini line. (Your sighs of relief are felt from miles away.)

As a part of Operation Less Grass, More Awesome we’ve decided to create a flower and herb bed around our deck. We were talking about our plans this past Sunday and discussing the three scraggly bushes we’ll be removing in order to plant things we like better.

I was lobbying that a particular bush should stay, while the manfriend wasn’t so sure. I won out considering it’s got such lovely foliage in very interesting colors. We did agree, however, that it needed trimming.

In my head I said, “I’ll trim it next weekend.” In his head the manfriend was saying, “I’ll trim it tomorrow.”

So, I get home on Monday and looked outside and the manfriend had not only trimmed it, he’d obliterated it. What was once a full, normal looking bush now looks like Dr. Seuss happened into our yard with clippers and created some sort of fucked up topiary.

I burst into laughter, tears running down my face. “Dude, what the hell did you do to the bush!?”

“You don’t like it?” He laughed. “Now I can mow under it.”

“Um, it’s so, so, so wrong looking! And you won’t need to mow over there at all when the flower bed is in place. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate your quick response to our conversation about trimming it, but I think you’re banned from bush trimming from now on.”

And we had a hearty laugh about the whole thing, which was stunning. Several months ago I would have been PISSED. Like seething. But the new me just sees it as supremely hilarious.

Now, if this sucker doesn’t start looking more normal by next spring, it’s coming out. Or maybe we’ll keep as a reminder of when Dr. Seuss possessed the manfriend for a half hour.

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