#Reverb12 – Look

{Just as I have for the past two years, for the month of December I’m participating in #reverb12 – an online initiative that prompts people to reflect on the past year and look towards the new one. I may not follow every prompt found here or here but will, rather, pick the ones that seem most interesting to me.}

Prompt for December 20th: Look – Sometimes you are left standing on the outside looking in.  As you stood there, on the other side of the glass, were you thankful for the boundary?  Or do you wish you could’ve been on the action-side?

The state of my neck/body for most of this past year and the boundary it creates is how this prompt is most applicable to me. And no, I’ve not been thankful for the boundary.

That boundary kept me from camping this summer (I couldn’t even conceive of sleeping on the ground, camp pad or not). It kept me from 4-wheeling at all (sometimes the drive is rougher than I can handle). And it kept me from getting outside and hiking more than a couple times (something about carrying a pack – even one just full of a few snacks and about 48 ounces of water – caused searing headaches).

If the tone above is unclear, this boundary really pisses me off and makes me a tad bitter. But I’ve been working really hard on that. And, in all honesty, I don’t really bitch too much about it or, really, even talk too much about it anymore. There’s no point. It doesn’t help anything to do so. As a good friend says, “It is what it is.” And he’s so right. I’ve done all I can do about it and I continue to take the best possible care of myself that I can. I can’t do anymore than that other than put on my big girl panties and just keep marching.

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