Dating

Dating sucks. I’m not really a fan. As a friend pointed out recently, “It’s a blood sport.”

Some people find causal dating fun. I have a really hard time with casual. It’s not my forte. I’m a classic Libra in the sense that we’re lovers and have a hard time not falling. The upside to that is that we don’t easily become jaded by love either. Instead, we are it’s champions and ever hopeful, believing in it’s abundance and power.

The hardest part about dating is deciding if someone is playing games with you or not. You might think they’re running a game on you when really it’s just that you don’t yet understand their M.O. or what you can and can’t expect from them. It can be very confusing and frustrating. And then, if you’re up-front and bare-bones with them, you might come off as over-the-top or forward. What a pain in the ass.

The first time I told my mom I was ready to be done, ready to find my guy and be done, I was 22 years old. Here I am 14 years later and still messing around with this crap. I am proud of myself, however, for not settling. And that girl I was at 22 is no where near the woman I am at 36, so it all makes sense, ultimately. Not to mention, that girl wouldn’t have had the experiences I’ve had and learned the lessons I’ve learned from the people I’ve spent time with in the past 14 years.

I was seeing someone (whatever the hell that means) this fall/early winter and hopeful about it. But we’re done with that part of our relationship now – just in different places with different goals and priorities. It’s a shame and I’m bummed about it. He’s an amazing guy. If the timing had been right, we could have been awesome together.

Part of me could be cynical about what I’ve lost in the past six months when it comes to relationships. Part of me could close up and become guarded. But that’s not who I am. It’s not who I want to be. Ever. Because for what I’ve lost, I’ve also gained so much.

So, there’s your vague, brief update on my dating life. Blerg.

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2 Comments

  1. Ma

     /  January 24, 2013

    Dang frogs! Gotta kiss alot of them before your find your Prince. Patience, grasshopper.

    Reply

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