Feeling the Love

Man, there’s no way for me to share this and not seem like a freak, but I’m going for it…

I recently had a hilarious conversation about love and how we, metaphorically, feel it with this woman.

She, metaphorically speaking, wants to take those she loves, wrap them up like a burrito, squish them, and then eat them.

My mom, metaphorically speaking, always says she wants to squeeze people until their eyeballs pop.

Me, well, I have several levels I can take this to:

  1. If I say I want to put someone on a cracker and take them home I mean that I find this person terribly cute and endearing and that I want to take care of them. This is usually a statement made regarding animals, kids, friends, etc.
  2. Now, if I say I want to put someone in my pocket and take them home, well I’ve just upped the anti a bit. What this statement means is that I’m a bit more physically attracted to the person and think of them as more hot than cute and cuddly.
  3. But if I say that I want to put someone on a stick and take them home, well! The whole concept of putting someone on a stick sort of implies ownership, right? Like this person is the ultimate? Make sense?

What weird things do you say or feel about those you care about?

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4 Comments

  1. Aimee

     /  March 15, 2013

    Annie, this blog is so funny that I want to punch you in the face, kick you, wrap you in a burrito, smother you with salsa, stomp on it and then tear it apart with my fingernails. That’s how much I love you.

    Reply
  2. I think this is just great. I’ve been trying to think of what I say but it’s kind of like when you’re trying to find an example and come up with blanks. I know that I’ll say I want to keep someone in my heart’s pocket if I just love them some much. If it’s someone who I want to take care of, I’ll say I want to mother them up. If I want to give a person stern talking to out of concern, I say I’m about to go all Mama Hulk on them.

    Reply

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