Do Nice Women Finish Last?

{I’d like to start this post by saying this is not a self-pity rant despite how this will appear. I have no way to make my point but to use my own experience  – this is a personal blog after all. But please keep in mind that I’m discussing this because I’m really just curious what other people might have to say…}

There’s the old adage that nice guys finish last. I wonder if the same is true of women as well.

{Here’s the part where I’m going to sound like a whiner – I’m just trying to make my point…}

I consider myself to be a pretty nice person overall. And when it comes to relationships with people I really care about, well, I’m pretty damned nice. I’m considerate, kind, thoughtful, nurturing, available, forthright, responsive, loving, compromising, loyal, dependable, blah, blah, blah.

I have learned, I’ll assure you, not to get trampled and taken advantage of, though. (Well, I might get trampled for a bit until I come to my good senses and high-tail it.)

I realized the other day that I’ve been in several relationships with men who notice and appreciate these traits in me. Men who’ve been in serious relationships with women who were crappy people and treated them like garbage. Then they meet me and I’m the complete opposite. I build them back up and help them to realize how much better they deserve and are worthy of. And then that’s it.

I discussed this with a male friend of mine recently and he had an interesting perspective. “You’re too nice,” he said. “Maybe you should try being more of a bitch.”

Huh. Perhaps he’s right. Perhaps I should be more aloof, selfish, mysterious, unavailable, demanding, blah, blah, blah. Maybe I should play harder to get.

The problem doing so is that it would be against my nature – it would require me to play games with someone. Then there would come a time when I couldn’t, or wouldn’t want to, keep up the game and they’d be like, “Who the hell are you? Why are you so nice all of a sudden?” and it would backfire.

Basically, I just want to be me and find the person who will recognize how awesome that is and then hold on tight.

So, what do you guys think? Do nice women finish last?

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3 Comments

  1. mkesling63

     /  May 18, 2013

    Just learn to buold yourself. If they can’t keep up and grow with dump them. I wasted a lot of time on two lossers myself. Not going for thirds.

    Reply
  2. kbaymarine

     /  June 27, 2013

    Yes, once the games are gone, sometimes, for most, then it’s game over. Especially true for Sagittarius men. Just my humble opinion.

    Reply

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