Before YouTube

If the internet existed when I had my wisdom teeth out, I’d likely have ended up on it as one of those videos you see of kids acting like morons post anesthesia.

My oral surgeon was the father of a friend of mine. Apparently I divulged a few things about her I shouldn’t have. Oops. And then, on the ride home, I scared the crap out of a cyclist.

Picture me sitting in the front seat of my mom’s minivan with a mouth full of bloody gauze drooling on myself while I laugh hysterically. I roll my face away from her to look out my window only to catch eyes with the cyclist standing beside me to whom I start laughing at manically. He looks back in abject horror and then peddles away as quickly as he can. Epic.

Then I spent the next three days in a Percocet haze. That stuff and I are NOT buddies. I pretty much slept anywhere from 21 to 23 hours a day for three days. I slept so much that I got dehydrated to the point that I couldn’t even keep water down and ended up in the emergency room where a resident spent 20 minutes trying to insert an IV. I was writhing in pain while blood dripped on the floor. I finally looked at the dude and said, “Guess what? You’re DONE! Find another way.” So I was sent home with suppositories to squelch the vomiting long enough for me to hydrate. Good times.

The only good to thing to come of the whole mess, other than the fact that my wisdom teeth didn’t threaten to rearrange the teeth that spent FIVE years in braces, is this photo:

0352 copy

My mom created a nest for me on the floor of the living room. (She created “nests” for us anytime we were sick in front of the TV in the main living area of the house so she could keep an eye on us. Love her.) And my little brother snuggled me up off and on for days. What a guy!

(It just occurred to me that he might have been using me as an excuse to lay around and watch TV on nice summer days. Brat.)

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  1. Nancy

     /  June 25, 2013

    What a great story! You are a lucky girl to have such a great mother :)


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  • About Me

    My mother is an encyclopedia of useless information (sorry, ma, but it's true) - no one can beat her at Trivial Pursuit. As I age, I become more like dear old mom everyday. I routinely tell people about resources, recipes, tips, tricks, or websites I've heard about, tried, live by, etc. until one of my clients urged me to start a blog. So here it is! My perpetual ramblings. I hope you find them useful and amusing. If you don't, you can either keep it to yourself or leave me a well constructed critique.

    I'm a former massage therapist, a freelance journalist, and a web information architect and UX designer. I enjoy yoga, the Bar Method, camping, reading, gardening, and spending time with my friends and loved ones. I live in Colorado.

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