Vulnerable

I recently had a friend thank me for the ways in which I make myself vulnerable on this blog. I really appreciated her acknowledging that because it’s not always an easy thing to do. There are ways in which I’m very open and honest about my life and ways in which I’m as tight as a drum. But I know there’s always beauty in vulnerability. So, here’s some more for you…

I watched this video the other day and it really struck a chord for me. Please go watch it…it’s really short and crucial to the rest of this post.

I’ve decided to give the online dating thing another go. Why? Well, I decided to shift my perspective on it by looking at it as a fun adventure instead of an arduous task to complete just to say I’ve done my due diligence. But let me tell you, there are parts of it I really don’t like.

While online dating is the norm in this day and age, I think it really limits the experiences people have. See, I know there are many men who’ve passed me over, and visa versa  – I’m culpable too, just because of a notion of who I am based on a few photos and a couple of paragraphs of text. Men who, if they met me in person, might have a totally different take. An online profile is a flat, two-dimensional representation of a person and that profile doesn’t flirt, or laugh, or banter, or gesture, etc.

Top that off with the fact that I’m trying to date in one of the fittest areas in the country and it’s like a recipe for disaster. No, I’m not a triathlete, and I don’t rock climb, or go adventure racing. Honestly, I’d rather crawl on crushed class than run a marathon. And some people will cast you aside just for these reasons. I’ve had it happen. And I just smile and think, “Yeah, keep moving buddy. If you’re that shallow, this won’t work anyway.”

So part of my shift in perspective is to challenge myself not to draw conclusions or make assumptions about a person just based on their profile alone. That’s not to say I won’t be selective, but “treat others the way you want to be treated,” right? Because, really, my guy may be TOTALLY different than I imagine him to be and I’ve got to be open to that.

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10 Comments

  1. mkesling63

     /  July 10, 2013

    I agree. Online dating is just taken to far. I met my Mr. Impeccable from online dating but the first contact was the only thing online then it stoped. all the rest was eye to eye in person no hiding. you meet online and that is the end of the online need.

    Reply
  2. This makes me smile. Have to say the guy I ended up with is beyond what I imagined and I NEVER would have had the chance to meet him if I did not give myself permission to look outside the box.

    Reply
  3. kbaymarine

     /  July 10, 2013

    LOL I would totally date you just for the fact that you would rather crawl on crushed glass than run a marathon. That is BADASS!!!

    Reply
    • Yes, well, now you know how much I hate to run. HATE. IT! I’ve tried to love it but excruciating shin splints have driven me away.

      Reply
  4. kbaymarine

     /  July 10, 2013

    Oh about dating in one of the fittest parts of the country. Yes, I suppose that is true. But as far as people listing their hobbies on those dating sites…Everyone rock climbs, hikes, fishes, snowboards, sky dives, scuba etc… Just say you do that too. No one will ever call you out on it.

    Reply
    • Oh, but they will! They’ll be like, “Lets go rock climbing in Eldorado for our first date!” And then the truth will come out and I’ll be a liar. Trying to be authentic, here, mister. It’s part of the whole Golden Rule aspect I’m invoking here ;)

      Reply
  5. Nah, people on those things try to make themselves look as intresting and outgoing as possible. (IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE) but if that was the case…they probably wouldn’t need to be online dating. Just saying. I do think sometimes, people are tired of the bar scene or don’t have time to be as social as they would like. So thinking outside the box is good.:) Wow, I just completely contradicted myself throughout this entire reply. Awesome!!!

    Reply

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  • About Me

    My mother is an encyclopedia of useless information (sorry, ma, but it's true) - no one can beat her at Trivial Pursuit. As I age, I become more like dear old mom everyday. I routinely tell people about resources, recipes, tips, tricks, or websites I've heard about, tried, live by, etc. until one of my clients urged me to start a blog. So here it is! My perpetual ramblings. I hope you find them useful and amusing. If you don't, you can either keep it to yourself or leave me a well constructed critique.

    I'm a former massage therapist, a freelance journalist, and a web information architect and UX designer. I enjoy yoga, the Bar Method, camping, reading, gardening, and spending time with my friends and loved ones. I live in Colorado.

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