Dear readers,

Please, please, please, please, please do yourselves a favor and go watch these two videos (in the order I’ve linked them is recommended). I promise this will not be a waste of your time.

{This post is going to mostly cover her video on vulnerability, but the video on shame is intricately linked.}

I’ve had  conversations with people over the course of my life (specifically the past year) where I’ve been encouraged to set-aside sadness, anger, loneliness, hopelessness in lieu of emotions on the other end of the spectrum. My response has been, time and again, that I need to feel those emotions (not numb them) and work through them if I’m going to come to terms with things in my life. At minute 14:44 in Brown’s talk on vulnerability, I felt justified and empowered by my inherent belief that numbing myself to anything won’t get me anything but numb to everything. (And if you think you can just skip to that mark and understand the message without watching the whole video, it doesn’t work that way.)

I think people have encouraged me to set aside the crappy emotions because doing so lightens things for them as well. When a person comes to you in a vulnerable state, it requires you to be somewhat vulnerable to relate to them. Or so we think. And is that such a bad thing? Not according to Brown as accepting our vulnerability and embracing it is what leads to connection and wholeheartedness. And vulnerability is not weakness. In fact, being vulnerable is the exact opposite. As she says,  “…vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.”

I know that adequately feeling some of the shit I’m wading through to get to the good stuff has helped me move that shit aside in a way so that it won’t resurface. I know that allowing myself to really grieve my break-up with the ex-manfriend (as opposed to stuffing all of that inside me) is what has allowed me to let go of him and that relationship so successfully. I know that allowing myself to be angry and sad about my accidents and what they’ve done to my body is helping me to accept the situation and focus on the positive lessons I’ve learned through the process. This helps me feel better in many ways instead of letting anger and sadness contribute to my pain.

Anyway, not to ramble on. What I’d really like is for you to go watch them for yourselves and see how her message and research applies to your own life. Enjoy!

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