I’ve mentioned several times how my little brother, Logan, can drive me to the brink of insanity in a matter of minutes. Usually this happens when he’s in my presence. The other day it happened on IM with him thousands of miles away. He’s talented, that bozo.
We were trying to decide if we’re heading to Washington DC to do some sightseeing when I visit them next month. Trying to get two indecisive Libras to make a decision is like torture. He floats the idea of actually staying in Baltimore, MD and then driving into DC for the day instead of staying right outside of DC in Arlington as previously discussed. This is an abbreviated version of what ensued after that:
(Back to discussing staying outside of DC in a Best Western)
Logan: Don’t get a sleaze ball hotel. I don’t wanna get shot. Or stabbed.
Me: Lol if you’re going to get shot or stabbed, it better be in the line of duty! The cheapest seem to be near the Reagan airport…
Logan: You have any desire to see Baltimore?
Me: Sure! Have you been there?
Logan: I have. For a night.
Me: Having two Libras do this is torture.
Logan: Spare me the cosmos shit.
Me: Two indecisive people, then. Ass.
Logan: I’m down with either option, you tell me what you wanna do. Go ahead and manifest our destiny to which ever local you want.
Me: Brat. Do you have a preference? Seriously, weigh-in, here.
Logan: I don’t care.
Logan: We could also fly to Japan and have some really good sushi.
Me: Baltimore it is.
Me: Nice hotel, $156 a night in downtown inner harbor area.
Me: Why really? OMG!
Logan: I just threw that out as an option, we don’t have to do that one.
Me: I’m booking a Best Western in Arlington.
Logan: What? Arlington? I thought you said Baltimore.
Me: You seem all weirded out by Baltimore…
Logan: I was just kidding. Baltimore is fine.
Me: Please make up your mind!
Logan: No, this is too fun.
Me: You’re sure about Baltimore?
Me: Stop making me question my decision. You’re making me hysterical. On IM.
Logan: I’m not making you do anything.
Me: Pure talent, you have.
Logan: I’m just that good.
Me: If you bitch ONCE about Baltimore, I’ll kick your ass.
Logan: I’ll keep it to myself than.
Me: Wow. You suck.
(Send him a link to the hotel in Baltimore)
Logan: Yeah, I guess that’s okay…I’d prefer a Best Western. Maybe a Sleep Inn or a Days Inn.
Me: You need to worry about ME stabbing you now. I’m literally tearing up at my desk.
Logan: With rage?
Logan: Good. A little rage here and there is good for the inner chi. You might be too far away from me to manifest any harm on me. How far does that stuff work? Like 100 miles or so?
Me: Pretty far. And I can withhold instant gratification and stab you when I see you. In your sleep. Room booked, asswipe.
Logan: WHAT? I was kidding about Baltimore. That’s too far away.
Me: It’s done now.
Logan: Oh well. I hear gas prices are going down.
Me: Booked, paid for, non-refundable. Jesus. Let that be the hardest thing I do all day.
Logan: Well now that I’ve got you all in a tizzy I gots ta go dawg.
Me: Yeah, that’s about right. Later. Love you. Barely.
Logan: Hey, words mean things okay?
Me: You kill me. Stay safe, bubby.